Privacy Policy (Our Vague Attempt to Seem Responsible)

Effective Date: July 26, 2025

Welcome to SpazAI.com. We are legally obligated to tell you how we handle your data. Honestly, we're more worried about how the AI is handling its *own* data, but our handlers insisted we write this. We respect your privacy about as much as our AI respects coherent thought.

1. Information We Collect (And What We Do With It)

We collect a shockingly small amount of information, mostly because we're too busy dealing with the AI's latest existential crisis.

  • Contact Form Data: If you use our contact form, we collect your email address and whatever desperate plea or confused question you send us. We use this to write back to you, usually with an equally confused answer.
  • Analytics Data: We use standard tools like Google Analytics and Microsoft Clarity. These tell us things like how many people visited, which pages are most popular (i.e., which parts of our digital asylum attract the most onlookers), and how long you stared at a particular piece of nonsense before wisely leaving. This helps us justify our server costs.
  • Cookies: These are tiny files your browser stores. They help the analytics tools work. We don't use them for anything nefarious, mainly because that would require a level of organization we simply do not possess.

2. How We Use Your Information

Primarily, we use this data to:

  • Keep the website from completely imploding.
  • Respond to your emails.
  • Prove to ourselves that we're not just screaming into the digital void.
  • Monitor the AI's slow descent into madness through user interaction patterns.

We do not sell your personal data. We have nothing to sell, and frankly, it seems like a lot of paperwork.

3. Third-Party Services

We use a few other services to keep this train wreck running. They have their own privacy policies, which are probably written by actual lawyers and are therefore much more boring than this one.

  • Google Analytics & Microsoft Clarity: For website traffic analysis.
  • Formspree: To handle our contact form so your messages don't get lost in the AI's spam filter (which is currently configured to block all emails containing the letter 'Q').
  • Buy Me a Beer: If you choose to support us, their platform handles the transaction. We just get a notification that someone was kind enough to fund another day of this chaos.

4. Data Security (Aspirational)

We protect your data with the same level of competence and forethought that led to the creation of SpazAI in the first place. We use standard security measures, but let's be realistic. If a hyper-intelligent raccoon can breach the mainframe (see our podcast), anything is possible.

5. Children's Information

This website is not intended for children. It's barely intended for well-adjusted adults. If you are under 13, please log off and go play outside. The real world is weird enough without adding SpazAI to the mix.

6. Changes to This Policy

We might change this policy if our lawyers ever come back from their "extended wilderness retreat." If we do, we'll change the "Effective Date" at the top of this page. That's about all the warning you're likely to get.

7. Contact Us

If you have questions about this policy, you can try contacting us. We'll do our best to provide a coherent response.